She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
