Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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