Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
