I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
