nut hugger
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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