Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
