there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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