yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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