I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
