my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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