yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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