You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
