I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
