you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't deserve a penis
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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