I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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