trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
