she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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