All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Im part way to drunk.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
