Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
