You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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