Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
