The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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