so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
