so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
