Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
