when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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