so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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