yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
