the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
