no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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