So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
