Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
