ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
