I wannas sexs uuuuu
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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