everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
that's an acceptable place to lick
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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