Can Purell be used as lube?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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