I feel like abortions should bother me more
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
