:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
