I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
