thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
