So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
