Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize