I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
