It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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