Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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