he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
