Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sext me about skeletons
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
