Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
