Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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