he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize