Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
