listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
