i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
