Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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