and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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