Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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