you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
