just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
