I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
