You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
