we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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