he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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