I heard we made out
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
