i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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