Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize