I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
