We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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