I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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