I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
