I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My vagina just recognized that song.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
