Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
